What does promiscuity really mean?
Definitions, an informal poll, and the history of slang
Hey horny readers! I love weird history and I hope you do, too! Today, I’m looking at the meaning of promiscuity, past and present.
Before we get to it, please remember the next ADULT SEX ED Live Show is on June 7th at Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles! My special guests are Dylan Adler, Joanna Hausmann, and Jeena Bloom.
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Adult Sex Ed comedically challenges why we think what we think about sex. In case you’re new, I’m Dani Faith Leonard, a comedy writer, film producer, and performer. In 2018, I started a comedy show called Adult Sex Ed and launched this newsletter last year. Each week, I take a fun deep dive into a topic that I’ve been researching. Want to know more? Read the whole description on substack here.
Ready to get a little smarter? Okay, let’s go!
For last week’s live show in NYC, I researched the history of slang for sluts. Slut is a slang word on its own that wasn’t even associated with its present meaning until the 1960s—it previously meant a woman who didn’t keep her house clean. We established that there were huge sluts in the audience that night.
What does promiscuity even mean? According to most dictionary definitions, promiscuity is measured by volume, meaning the number of sexual partners is what makes a person slutty. Sometimes, there’s an alternative definition available which relates to the carelessness of choosing partners, or being indiscriminate in sluttiness. The problem is that there’s not really a standard measurement. There’s no number of partners that serves as a benchmark and no concrete behaviors to look out for.
I decided to do an informal poll this week, surveying twenty friends from different gender identities and sexual orientations. I asked two questions:
#1: What makes a person promiscuous?
#2: Who is the most promiscuous person you ever met?
Most of my friends cited the dictionary definition and associate promiscuity with a high number of partners and being indiscriminate about who they are. Some added details about safety (personal safety and using protection), while others added details about the kind of sex acts performed. Personally, I don’t think that someone who has missionary all over town is less promiscuous, by definition. Still, there didn’t seem to be a concrete measure of who is considered promiscuous.
A few of my friends were a bit more thoughtful. To them, promiscuity is about what the person needs to get out of sex, and the emotions attached. Do their actions stem from low self worth and do they need sex in order to value themselves as a person? Does the act of finding sex interfere with their everyday life? To them, this separated someone who is promiscuous from someone who just enjoys sex (and has a high head count, no shame involved).
The answers to the second question were more interesting to me than the first. Most of my queer friends told thoughtful anecdotes and listed themselves as one of the most promiscuous people they know. Almost all of my straight friends named a woman as the most promiscuous person they ever met. 👀
The thing is, it’s not their fault. First of all, it may be true (I even knew some of the women in question). But cultural attitudes about promiscuity have always been imbalanced. Historically, sexual men were conquerers, getting their kicks all over town. Romeos. Casanovas. Sexual women were never seen as having sex for enjoyment. I learned that when I studied the history of slang last year, and again for last week’s show. Here’s part of the segment that I did last week:
There are over a thousand euphemisms for a promiscuous woman, but fewer than one hundred common ones for a man used throughout history. Let’s start off in the 1500s when some very common terms, like stallion and wench were first used:
In the 1600s & 1700s, sexually active men were athletes, do-ers, builders. Women were…not any of those things.
The light wench was like the Bud Light of wenches, I assume. The 1800s get even more imbalanced:
LOOSE. FISH. The 1950s introduced us to two of the more famous terms: whore (1958), which was previously only associated with the oldest profession and not everyday women; and player (1954), probably the most ubiquitous term for a promiscuous dude.
One thing that really stands out to me is that there are few words about promiscuous straight women that imply that women enjoy sex. When grown women do enjoy sex, they even call each other sluts, like the Golden Girls famously did! On the other hand, a poon hound enjoys pussy. A cocksmith is a master. You know what a cunt hunter is up to. He enjoys sex, so he’s seeking it out. A poon hound can hold down a job. He can even run for office. It’s hard to say the same about a cum dumpster.
xx
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June 7th in Los Angeles!
Come to the next Adult Sex Ed live show at Dynasty Typewriter with special guests Dylan Adler (Late Late Show, Comedy Central), Joanna Hausmann (Netflix, Comedy Central), Jeena Bloom (Comedy Central) & More!
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