What a douche!
Dubious advertising and other douchey things
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This is a weekly newsletter from me, Dani Faith Leonard , a comedy writer, film producer, and performer, based on the live comedy show ADULT SEX ED that I’ve hosted since 2018. If you want to know more about this newsletter, here’s a description on substack.
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The title of this newsletter is so much fun for me because when I wrote “what a douche,” I knew that there were probably multiple people, places, and things that could have popped into your head. It is the two tech billionaires who were going to have a flailing cage fight, but one of their mommies called it off? Was is the studio CEO who is building an exact replica of his own yacht, while calling the people who create his movies “unreasonable” for requesting fair compensation?
In this case I’m actually referring to actual douches, not figurative ones.
In case you’re not aware, douching involves flushing the inside of the vagina with fluid, often squirted from a bottle, bag or tube (hence the term, “douchebag”). Anal douches are a thing too, but for this post, we’re focusing on vaginas. In recent years, most American doctors have told us that douching isn’t necessary, and can change the necessary balance of vaginal flora and natural acidity. Nevertheless, douches and feminine washes are available in pharmacies all over the world.
But there’s a long, toxic history associated with douching. Ancient women in many cultures douched to prevent pregnancy and infection. Medieval sex workers douched in between clients to prevent STIs and pregnancy. The major problem with that is that douching does neither of those things.
Lysol advertised itself as a spermicidal douche, which became popular during the Great Depression. At that point, “feminine hygiene” was a euphemism for birth control, which was illegal in those days. Lysol may have been corrosive to sperm, but since the Lysol used back then was also far stronger than our Lysol is today, over a hundred people died.
Before you think, Wait, this is silly. Why would anyone fall for that? Who would want a pussy so lemony-fresh that you could wash plates in it? It’s important to note that the advertising of feminine hygiene products like douches has been historically toxic, and designed to make people feel inadequate without them. Dr. Jen Gunter wrote about this beautifully in her newsletter, The Vajenda:
The feminine hygiene industry takes the oldest patriarchal commandment — that the vagina, vulva, and menstruation are inherently dirty and problematic — and weaponizes it to sell useless and often harmful products to women. Read the whole post here.
It’s only the past few decades that douching is marketed primarily for “freshness.” Many of the advertisements over time leaned on a major insecurity—unpleasant odor. Have you ever smelled sweaty balls? I have. But there’s no aisle as CVS dedicated to solving the issue of scrotum stink, so let’s look at more douche ads:
This is a 1951 ad for a Zonite Feminine Hygiene, in which “feminine hygiene” is still code for birth control, while also still shame-y about hygiene. Notice the comment about it being “SAFE to tissues?” This is only a few years after Lysol killed a bunch of people, so I assume it’s friendly competition.
Once the birth control pill became readily available, douches were marketed for their intended use. So I guess it’s not a surprise that the late ‘60s through the ‘70s seemed to be biggest era of douche advertising. Magazines advertised douches as a way to be sexier for your fruit-loving husband:
At least “Amy” knows she doesn’t need to douche. Smelly Jenny isn’t so lucky. This Vespre ad ran in an Australian women’s magazine in the 70s and is for a “feminine spray,” not a douche, but needs to be noted due to the douchebaggery of the ad itself. Who are these copywriters who thought that one woman would tell another about her "intimate odor?!" How would she know, unless her face was buried in her crotch? I guess judging by the flirty inset photo, that could have been the case and of course, I love that for them.
In the United States, companies like Vagisil have become more sensitive in their advertising, whether for douches or vaginal shampoos. And while they haven’t stopped marketing “freshness,” their ads are less blunt. But here is an ad from Vagisil Singapore, posted last year on their official Facebook page:
Literal and figurative douches (and “feminine care” advertising) are products of the patriarchy! No one needs these products to achieve vaginal “freshness,” just like no one needs a replica of their own yacht.
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Eeeew! I am torn between offended to the core of my being and grossed out and horrified by Lysol - which I will never be able to look at the same way again! Enlightening, even if I could have done without enlightenment in this subject for half of ever or more.