Sex strikes of history
Does withholding sex actually create change?
Hey horny readers! This week, I did a dive into the history of sex-strikes, in response to the rise of online chatter encouraging liberal women to withhold sex in response to recent political developments.
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Adult Sex Ed comedically challenges why we think what we think about sex. In case you’re new, I’m Dani Faith Leonard, a comedy writer, film producer, and performer. In 2018, I started a comedy show called Adult Sex Ed and launched this newsletter last year. Each week, I take a fun deep dive into a topic that I’ve been researching. Want to know more? Read the whole description on substack here.
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Some women have been coping with the election results in the United States by threatening a sex strike, or announcing a commitment to celibacy for the time being, without actually using the word “strike.” Some women have posted about becoming celibate because of the rising danger of pregnancy, while others write about taking control of their bodies back from a misogynist society. According to recent reports, these women are quoting or referring to the 4B movement, a sex boycott which originated in South Korea in the late 2010s. Google searches for 4B rose dramatically after the election, peaking on November 7th.
4B is a shorthand for the four tenets which all start with the Korean-language term bi (Korean: 비; Hanja: 非), roughly meaning "no"—bihon, bichulsan, biyeonae and bisekseu. Its followers not date men, get married to men, have sex with men, or have children with men. Leaders of the 4B movement have cited protection from misogynistic family structures the reason, with issues including domestic violence and an unequal distribution of labor. One major event that kicked off the movement was the murder of a woman in 2016 in the restroom of a Seoul karaoke bar, in which the male killer later testified he did it because she had ignored him all his life. (All movements are complicated and while the 4B movement is unabashedly feminist, they have also been accused of being homophobic and transphobic.)
Sex strikes, or sex boycotts, have been a form of protest that dates all the way back to the ancient Greeks. If you were a theatre major in school or took an ancient literature class, you probably had to read Lysistrata, an ancient Greek anti-war comedy by Aristophanes, originally performed in Athens in 411 BC. Set during the Peloponnesian War, the play follows Lysistrata, an Athenian woman who persuades the women of Greece to withhold sexual privileges from their husbands and lovers in order to force the men to negotiate peace. The women occupy the Acropolis, taking control of the city's treasury, while the men, desperate to bone, are gradually compelled to end the war (spoiler!). The play has been adapted many times over, most recently by Spike Lee into the film Chi-raq.
Lysistrata was so important in defining this kind of protest that a sex strike is more formally known as Lysistratic nonaction. The play is filled with boner jokes and innuendo, but actual sex strikes throughout history haven’t been as rousingly fun. Here are a few notable sex boycotts:
Nicaraguan “Strike of the Uterus”
In the 1530s, indigenous women in Nicaragua rebelled against Spanish colonial forces. This protest, often described as a form of a "strike" or "sexual boycott," was a response to the brutal treatment of their people by the Spanish colonizers.
Iroquois Child-bearing Boycott
Iroquois women wanted more power over warfare decision-making, so they decided to boycott sex and childbearing. In the Iroquois Nation, there was a cultural belief that women held a deeper knowledge of birth and its secrets than men ever could (duh), making this strike very powerful. The men responded to the boycott by giving the women the power to veto wars.
Modern-day Strikes in Africa & Columbia
One of the most well known examples of Lysistratic non-action occurred during the second civil war in Liberia in the early 2000s. Led by activist Leymah Gbowee and other women, the strike involved a mass movement in which women withheld sex from their husbands and partners in a bid to force the warring factions to negotiate peace. The sex strike alone did not end the war, but it did lead to more demonstrations and peace talks.
In 2019, Kenyan women hit men with a sex ban and even offered to pay the lost wages of sex workers if they joined in. Similar actions have been taken during times of unrest in Togo and South Sudan. In Colombia, women have used sex strikes to protest gang violence and create political change, creating the Crossed Legs Movement in 2011 to pressure the government to repair a dangerous road that connected two small cities.
Here’s the thing—it’s hard to compare the actions of these women to Lysistrata. Most of these sex strikes have occurred in places where the idea of disobeying any man, let alone a husband, is a lot more dangerous than the play makes it out to be. The women in these nations have also risked backlash, including sexual violence.
There’s another angle to these sex strikes, especially here in the United States where withholding sex is a lot less risky. While proponents may say that it leaves women in control of their bodies, sex strikes and the discussion around them reinforce the view that straight women perform sexual acts for the benefit of men, and not themselves. Who is a sex strike to protest a Trump presidency really punishing? Why sabotage my own enjoyment?
While most sex strikes have been organized and performed by women, there is a new male version. Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) is a far-right, anti-feminist movement that encourages men to separate themselves from women and society. Part of the online “manosphere,” the movement doesn't have a leader but was encouraged by a 2014 Breitbart article called “The Sexodus,” by Milo Yiannopoulos. Those in the manosphere who have been awakened from feminist "delusion"are said to be "redpilled"; those who do not accept that ideology are referred to as "bluepilled". MGTOW members refer to men who support women as "beta", "cucks", and "soy boys." Damn, I hope these guys keep taking themselves out of the game.
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Ah, sex strikes—protests so cunningly paradoxical they make me wonder if the human race has ever been entirely serious about itself. The idea that world peace might hinge on a global case of blue balls is both charmingly absurd and oddly logical.
Your dive into the history of such strikes reveals a tapestry of human frustration, resilience, and, let’s face it, a monumental misunderstanding of who enjoys sex more. Whether it’s wielded as a weapon or withdrawn for self-care, the act—or rather, the non-act—remains a fascinating reminder of how deeply politics and passion intertwine.