Myth-busting in Texas
What I learned about sex and hoaxes this week in Houston.
Hi Everyone,
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This is a weekly newsletter from me, Dani Faith Leonard, a comedian and film producer. It’s an extension of the live comedy show ADULT SEX ED that I’ve hosted since 2018. The show is about plugging the holes in our education as adults, so I’ll be doing just that (if you want to know more about this newsletter, here’s a description on substack).
Ready to get a little smarter? Okay, let’s go!
Dani
This week, I was down in Houston, Texas, where I was hired to bring the ADULT SEX ED live show to the Healthy Futures of Texas symposium. The annual event is for people who are doing really difficult work daily, like advocating for and teaching sex ed, writing curriculums that can get past strict mandates, and working to prevent teen pregnancies. These folks are passionate about giving everyone a chance to make informed decisions. I met people who have been fighting for years and young advocates that are inspiring change.
The main purpose of my show is to deliver laughs, mostly about the things we learned wrong or didn’t learn at all. If you’ve never seen the ADULT SEX ED live show, it’s a balance of stand up, deep dives and interviews. So I might tell a story that meant a lot to me that leads into a five minute exploration on what slang words for vagina can teach us about history. They’ve never had a comedian at the symposium before. As board chair Chris Kroeger said, it was the first keynote he’d seen where someone said “I’ve smelled balls.”
About 40 minutes into the show, I brought up two people who work in the field in Texas, J.R. Chester and Alex Polk. The main part of the interview was going to be about myths they’ve encountered and had to dispel when they were growing up or working in the community. They knew that they were on stage to share their expertise, and they over-delivered. I’m happy to introduce you to Blue Waffle and the Earwax Test, in case you haven’t already been acquainted.
BLUE WAFFLE
Alex told a hilarious story about a science teacher who was brave enough to confront the blue waffle rumor head on. “Blue waffle” is an internet hoax about a sexually transmitted infection that will turn a vulva blue, supposedly brought on by too much sex. First of all, that doesn’t happen for medical reasons, but can happen if you wear a new pair of jeans and don’t wear panties.
Here’s the problem: the other listed symptoms of blue waffle are itching, irritation of the vaginal area, and unusual discharge. These can be symptoms of a real, and probably treatable, STI.
Turns out, blue waffle was a joke started in 2008, but it spread rampantly, due to a lack of sex ed. The blue waffle hoax spread around schools all over the US, accompanied by “photographic evidence.” You can still find these photos online, but you don’t need to. In 2013, a councilwoman from Trenton, New Jersey fell for the hoax and publicly announced that blue waffle disease had claimed the lives of 85 women. If you appreciate a good prank, like I do, then you know what a win that was.
THE EARWAX TEST
J.R. first encountered the “earwax test” at work. The idea behind the test is that if you put earwax on a woman's vulva or into her vagina and it burns, then she’s not clean. On the internet, it’s frequently referred to as the “prison STD test.”
The most terrifying aspects of this hoax is that it obviously doesn't work as an STD test, and that it was passed down through the community generation to generation. But there’s also the whole sneaking around with your earwax and putting it inside someone. Of course, there’s also a focus on the woman’s status, while the man digging gold out of his ear might not know his own. As J.R. pointed out, who in the world has enough earwax to do this all the time?
Once we spoke through myths, I asked what each of them would add to a sex ed curriculum for adults. Both agreed that many adults still don’t know enough about anatomy. Alex specifically pointed out that teaching how transgender bodies work anatomically would be helpful, especially in medical situations. As usual, I learned a lot from my guests.
I’ve loved every city I’ve visited in Texas, but it’s really easy to shit on them when it comes to policy. With sex ed, I can’t judge too hard. Only 17 states require sex ed to be medically accurate and New York, where I grew up, isn’t one of them. Ok, fine. I judged a little, but they were good sports. I thought it was interesting that in a state that’s banning abortion and limiting sex ed, there’s still a vibrator section at CVS. It’s almost like the state motto should be, “Texas: just f*ck yourself.”
Earnestly, I had a wonderful time this week with great people and amazing food. It made me happy to bring comedy your way. I can’t wait to perform in Texas again (whether with Adult Sex Ed, or just in general). Thanks so much to Healthy Futures for having me and thank you to everyone in that audience for doing great work.
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