Are People Really Doing it in Retirement Communities?
Swingers, golf carts, and loofahs + upcoming show
Hi Everyone,
Happy hump day and thanks so much for reading the ADULT SEX ED newsletter!
This is a weekly newsletter from me, Dani Faith Leonard, a comedian and film producer (you can follow me on instagram). It’s an extension of the live comedy show ADULT SEX ED that I’ve hosted since 2018. The show and this newsletter is about plugging the holes in our education as adults (if you want to know more, here’s a description on substack).
Ready to get a little smarter? Okay, let’s go!
Dani
P.S. Tickets are on sale for the next ADULT SEX ED live show in New York City, on June 22nd at 7PM at the Midnight Theatre. Special guests include Dylan Adler, Katie Haller, & more — you won’t want to miss it! GET TICKETS.
It’s my birthday week (tomorrow, June 8th, to be exact!), but that’s not why I chose an age-related topic this week. I’m still far from retirement age and not that interested in golf. I wanted to research STIs in retirement communities because the stories are FUN. Really fun.
My first visit down to The Villages was in 2017. My father had moved there and it was time for my sister and I to pay a visit. Many people give up their cars for golf carts, which are decked out depending on their taste. Maybe you’ve seen videos of the golf cart Trump parades leading up to the last election. Every lawn is perfectly manicured. The houses come is a couple of pastel colors, or the standard khaki shade. The majority of Villagers are white — very white. A friendly voice broadcasts the day’s news through loudspeakers. Every corner of the community looks like a scene from The Truman Show.
The Villages has become really buzzy in the past couple of years, the subject of two documentaries, The Bubble and Some Kind of Heaven. Spanning three counties, It’s billed as “Florida’s Friendliest Active Adult 55+ Retirement Community.” The question is, how active? When you tell people that you know someone who lives in The Villages, there’s usually something they’re quick to point out: The Villages is rumored to have one of the highest STI rates in the country.
Whoa! Excuse me?
The rumors started in the 90s. As the community started rapidly expanding, the STI rates (particularly for syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia) for those ages 55 and up in the state of Florida also rapidly grew. One gynecologist was quoted in the New York Post in 2009 that she treated more cases of herpes at The Villages than she did while practicing in Miami. She supposedly recounted that statement, but the rumor stuck. That piece also contained stories of wild golf cart sex, a black market for viagra, and a lady-killer known as “Mr. Midnight.”
Then, there’s the loofah system. Also rumored to have a vibrant swingers community, the latest story to circulate about The Villages is that people place different colored loofahs on their golf carts, depending on their sexual preferences. This tiktok from drag queen Tora Himan went viral, explaining the code. Residents have argued that the loofahs are to help them find their cars or golf carts, but that excuse is a lot less fun. When I was there, I was also told about wearing gold shoes, which signifies that you’re DTF.
Proponents of The Villages say that most of these rumors are far from the truth. There are many married couples there, and what a place like that provides is far better than any risk of syphilis. There are thousands of clubs and social groups. So many opportunities for people to stay healthy and active. People come there in retirement to live, not to die. Plus, there’s a monster alligator named 'Larry' who is a local star.
Here’s what we can confirm: STIs are on the rise for older adults. In 2018, the CDC estimated that the rates of infection for chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis have more than doubled in Americans over the age of 65 in the five years prior. This is being blamed on dating apps, access to viagra, lack of sex education, and a lack of awareness that older people are still at risk for STIs, even though they can’t get pregnant. Florida happened to have one of the highest rates. The rates were the lowest in Montana, Wyoming, and North Dakota. Because no one fucking lives there.
The next time I was at “Disneyworld for Adults” was at the end of 2021. I went out at night and saw a glimpse of the rumored horniness. That night, there was a live band in one of the town squares. People were grinding. Making out. Putting their hip replacements to the test. I saw a couple drinking and then driving away, their golf cart weaving down the road while two eighty-year-olds made out like they were seventeen. It was strange. I saw at least ten pairs of gold shoes. It was…kind of inspiring.
The drunk driving aside, should I care if these older, but not old folks are getting it on? Should I be appalled by the loofah system or impressed that retired folks can memorize so many rules, especially when they’ve been drinking on the golf course all day?
Personally, I would never move there. It’s a bubble, where people intentionally keep themselves isolated from the world’s problems. But, I’d love to do my show at The Villages and perhaps bring some real sex education their way, too. More depressing than chlamydia at an advanced age is an age when you have no sex at all.
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Thanks for reading! Hope to see you at the live show on the 22nd in NYC.
