Adventures in contraception
People have used [and banned] it since the beginning of time
Hey horny readers! This newsletter is about birth control—it’s been created, used, and banned since the beginning of time. What can we learn from historical birth control that might be relevant today?
As always, thank you so much for reading the Adult Sex Ed newsletter. If you’re enjoying it, please share with friends, so they can be hilariously informed.
Adult Sex Ed comedically challenges why we think what we think about sex. In case you’re new, I’m Dani Faith Leonard, a comedy writer, film producer, and performer. In 2018, I started a comedy show called Adult Sex Ed and launched this newsletter last year. Each week, I take a fun deep dive into a topic that I’ve been researching. Want to know more? Read the whole description on substack here.
Ready to plug the holes in your education? Okay, let’s go!
It would be irresponsible for me to write a newsletter this week without recapping some of the recent events in the U.S. that affect everyone, but especially women. At least two women in Georgia have died after they couldn’t access medical care due to abortion bans. Amber Nicole Thurman, a 28-year-old woman, suffered from an infection due to left over fetal tissue, and was in need of a routine procedure called a D&C. A D&C, which stands for dilation and curettage, is a procedure that involves dilating the cervix and removing abnormal tissues from the uterus (my mother called it a “dusting and cleaning” hehe). Performing this extremely routine procedure in Georgia is now a felony, punishable by up to a decade in prison, and by the time doctors operated on Thurman, it was too late. She left behind a six-year-old son when she died in 2022. This story was in the news this week because a maternal mortality review committee found that her death was preventable. This is exactly the type of story that was predicted after the Supreme Court overturned nationwide abortion rights, and dozens of women have been turned away from emergency rooms across the country.
There was more news related to reproductive healthcare. Yesterday, Republicans in the United States Senate blocked a bill that would protect access to IVF. So while Trump claimed at last week’s presidential debate that he would be great for IVF— “a leader on fertilization!”—his party allies have voted against it four times. It was actually Trump’s claim at the debate that IVF should be free, which came as a huge shock to just about everyone, that inspired Democrats to re-introduce the Right to IVF bill in the first place. By the way, “I’m a leader on fertilization” sounds like a something Elon Musk would quietly whisper to women at a eugenics-themed dinner party.
While access to abortion and IVF are topics that we’re regularly hearing about, many Americans might not realize that Republicans also voted against the Right to Contraception Act back in June. The vast majority of Americans support access to birth control—a 2022 poll showed 90% of Americans support condoms and the pill, and 81% support IUDs—but the right to use the methods of their choosing are increasingly at risk.
Birth control methods have been around since the beginning of time. Is there anything we can learn from history about the underlying attitudes about birth control? Here are some of the takeaways from my previous deep dives on birth control history! Here are links to the full history of birth control—my first newsletter!—and history of the condom, if you want the whole deal.
THE HISTORY OF BIRTH CONTROL (abridged)
There was a big narrative in several ancient cultures that men were not supposed to “spill their seed,” which has persisted over thousands of years. In the Bible, G-d killed a man named Onan (the namesake for onanism) for wasting sperm—it was better to do something silly with that sperm. In Ancient China, men were encouraged to save their semen by bending forward and trying to ejaculate in their own buttholes. While men were trying to recycle, women were inventing methods of birth control that were scientifically sound.
Ancient Greek women made sperm blockers out of pomegranates, while Egyptians stuffed themselves with a paste of crocodile dung and honey. Crocodile doo doo is alkaline to a degree similar to contemporary spermicides and the paste acted as a blocker. They were literally willing to stuff shit inside them to not get pregnant, in case you were wondering how much it mattered to them.
The Talmud, an ancient Jewish text, recommended that sponges be soaked in vinegar and used to prevent pregnancy. Sponges are still effective and used today, and also set the scene for one of my favorite Seinfeld episodes.
Native Americans used plants, like stoneseed, as oral contraceptives, hundreds of years before the pharmaceutical industry developed birth control pills.
When it came to male protection, ancient condoms were impractical. Condoms may date all the way back to 11,000 B.C., when someone made a cave drawing of a penis covered in animal skin, found in modern-day France. Ancient Greeks were using animal bladders. Ancient Romans wore condoms made of linen or animal intestines. Ancient Egyptians also wore linen condoms to protect from tropical diseases, no doubt because they wanted their dicks to look like mummies too! The condoms were color-coded based on the caste that people belonged to so you don’t fuck peasants by accident. In Japan, tortoise shell condoms called Kabuto-gata(甲形) were worn by the upper class. In China, glans condoms (just the tip) were made of oiled silk paper, which sounds waaaayyyyy more comfortable.
Through the Renaissance, the purpose of condoms was just to prevent diseases and birth control remained a woman’s responsibility. That was until the 1600s and the reign of King Charles II, who fathered a ton of illegitimate children! His doctor made a sheath out of a lamb’s intestines so he’d stop knocking up his mistresses. Since condoms were made of animal parts through the 1800s, it wasn’t uncommon to buy them at the butcher, along with meats for supper.
Here’s something that’s important to know: THROUGHOUT HISTORY, WHEN MEN CREATED BIRTH CONTROL FOR WOMEN, IT WAS USUALLY POISON.
Soranus was a 2nd century Greek gynecologist with a truly perfect name. He told women to drink the water that blacksmiths used to cool their metal. Hundreds of centuries later during the Great Depression, Lysol advertised itself as a douche to prevent infection and odor and subtly hinted that it could be used for birth control. Not surprisingly, some women died from using it, but they smelled lemony-fresh.
Animal skin condoms paved the way for rubbers, once Charles Goodyear (the blimp guy) invented the vulcanization of rubber in 1844. George Bernard Shaw called the rubber condom “the greatest invention of the 19th century.” He either really loved to f*ck or he had never heard of the telephone, steam locomotive, typewriter, electricity or the lightbulb. Latex condoms have been available since the 1920s, but when we say “birth control,” people most likely think of methods that women use.
The IUD dates back to the early 1900s and the hormonal birth control pill has only been around since 1960. Indigenous and ancient people invented methods of birth control that are actually still deemed effective today. Women have literally known what works for us since the beginning of time. Why let anyone else control that now?
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